If you need booze or drugs to enjoy life to the fullest, you are doing it wrong.

This is the last time I will write to you.
This is the last time I will sit down and think about us.
This is my last letter to you-
because you are no longer my story to tell,
nor my letter to write.
I know I have told you how much I loved you, but I think you deserve more than that-
at least the person whom I fell in love with did.
While I can no longer find or see that person inside of who you have become, I know he must exist somewhere,
and this is for him:
Thank you.
You were the best thing in my life.
The light at the end of every tunnel.
The strength behind every stumble.
My other half.
I know this sounds cliche.
I know we were too young to know any better-
But you were my person.
There is no doubt in my mind that what we had was the purest kind of love two people can have.
Thank you for being my happiness.

The day I left is one I think about often.
I am sorry for leaving.
I am sorry for giving up on us.
Sometimes I wonder what it would’ve been like if I chose to stay.
I wonder if I could’ve held us together.
I wonder if I could’ve kept you the same person who I knew.
I believe that I had the power to save you,
and instead I broke us,
and for that I am forever sorry.

I do not blame you for moving on.
Moving on is something that people do every single day,
it is nobodies fault;
it just happens.
But what I do blame you for,
is putting me through the worst pain I have ever felt.
The kind of pain you could never possibly imagine until it happens to you.
The kind of pain I would never wish upon anybody.
I blame you for holding onto the smallest part of me when you should’ve let go.
I blame you for all the nights I laid in bed with my phone chiming full of promises for the future while you were giving your heart to somebody else.
I blame you for the tears.
I blame you for taking away the best parts of me.
I blame you for making me start over with nobody by my side.
I blame you for the promises you didn’t keep.
I blame you for giving me no option besides strength.

Now, I can finally say that I am happy for you.
It looks like you found your place,
and your people.
Unfortunately,
I do no know you anymore.
This is a person I who I have never met,
and certainly not one who I dated.
I went through hell trying to keep you in my life,
but you didn’t want to stay,
so this is my goodbye.
This is my goodbye because I refuse to keep fighting for somebody who didn’t fight for me.

I am so thankful I had you in my life when I did.
You were my best friend,
my future,
my everything.
I will always hold onto our memories, and the old you,
but I have completely let go of the person who you have become.
After being my brightest light,
you turned into my biggest downfall,
and my saddest story-
but you made me strong,
so thank you.

Thank you for being the best thing I ever had,
and thank you for being the worst mistake I ever made.

And now I’m lying here, tears streaming down my face, and you’re just gone